In reality, there is no perfect set of words that will make your partner forget you made a bad decision. You also don’t have to keep letting someone hurt you just because they ask you to forgive them. True relational repair takes work, but it’s a skill we can learn if we’re willing to go a little beyond “forgive and forget.”

In my last post, I talked about Queer Imposter Syndrome and the feeling of not being “gay enough” that a lot of folks have when they come out later in life. 

But there's a specific flavor of queer imposter syndrome that deserves its own post. It's the feeling of being a fully functional, self-aware, proudly queer person… who suddenly feels extremely uncomfortable when it comes to exploring queer sex for the first (or second, or third) time.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying something along the line of, “Yeah, I’m gay, but I’m not like… THAT gay,” then this post is for you.

It’s pretty normal to cycle through periods of hyperfocus and crash out mode when the world around you is constantly throwing curve balls at your face. And while it might be even more familiar to my ADHD friends, it’s something that many folks experience to some degree. 

So what do we do with the shame that shows up when the energy disappears? And is there a way to work with these cycles instead of feeling defeated by them? 

When the world feels out of your control, it helps to come back to what you actually have a say in. A look at consent beyond sex and why your yes still belongs to you.

You're allowed to be fully human while doing the work. You're allowed to rest, to have joy, to not be perfect at this. The goal isn't a guilt-free existence. The goal is using our feelings (including guilt) as information that helps us act in alignment with our values.

For many former church kids, there's something darkly ironic about what’s happening politically right now. You already spent years learning to see through this kind of authoritarian rhetoric. And now you're watching it happen all over again in the global arena.

No matter how you experienced religious traditions around the holidays, you probably remember some kind of pressure surrounding them. Former church kids can sometimes feel a little lost when it comes to showing up in new ways at the holidays.

A humorous look at the contradictory myths many of us believed growing up in evangelical Christianity, from dinosaurs to demon-possessed vacuum cleaners.

If your capacity for dealing with complicated family dynamics, passive-aggressive comments, and “fellowship” has completely disappeared over the last few years, that's totally valid.

Your presence isn't something you owe to anyone, not even family.

If you’re just now learning to enjoy the “typical” things the world has to offer without feeling shame, you just might be in your basic bitch era. Welcome. Honestly, getting to this point of guilt-free enjoyment isn't easy when you've been taught that popular culture is spiritually dangerous.

Your neurodivergent brain isn't broken. It’s never too late to learn practical strategies for working with ADHD/autism instead of against it. Self-compassion and accommodations are a good first step. 

The body shame messages most of us received growing up might have come in different packages, but they all had one thing in common. They taught us that our bodies were problems to be solved rather than homes to be loved.

You know how to spot the red flags of toxic communities, but do you know what safe spaces look like? Here’s how to find (and build) safe spaces during Pride month and beyond.

This post is for folks who want to support their loved ones who are feeling the weight of our current social and political climate. It's also for anyone who is in the complicated position of needing to ask for support while simultaneously supporting others in your community.

The need to feel certain about your beliefs doesn’t always go away just because you left high-control religion behind. Learn how to approach new ideas with curiosity and embrace the freedom of the unknown.

Self-care might seem like an out-of-touch indulgence considering the current state of the world, but it’s actually an important aspect of resistance and your ability to thrive amid the chaos. 

Moving from religious sexual shame to authentic sexual ethics can feel overwhelming. Learn how to build healthy sexual ethics based on consent and personal values rather than purity culture's harmful rules.

Finding hope during political uncertainty can be especially challenging for religious trauma survivors and LGBTQ+ folks. How do we stay grounded and protect our mental health?

Breaking free from gender roles after leaving church? Learn how anyone can create authentic relationships based on individual strengths rather than societal expectations about who should do what.